You know when you have had enough and honestly don't think you can take much more? Then more shit happens? Yup? well that's how I feel today..
Yesterday I dyed my hair. Not unusual I do it all the time, but I did think that WSH might actually notice as instead of it being a reddy purpley colour it is now "cosmic blue" (more black than anything). I did it whilst he was out... Did he notice? Nope... Did he say more than 3 words unrealated to a computer game to me last night? Nope. Did he compliment me on the curry I had made for him for his tea which was made from scratch and which took hours to do properly with the "help" of the sprogs? Nope. Did he comment on the fact that I have blitzed the downstairs of the house this morning whilst also entertaining 3 children, helping one of them with Tombraider? Nope. Did he even say "thanks" for the bacon and egg sandwich I made for him at lunchtime? Nope. Has he done either of the 2 things I asked him to do when he came in today? Nope. Is he still sitting as his computer feeling sorry for himself because I lost the plot when something on the forum went wrong and dared to ask for his technical help? Yup. Do I feel taken for granted, shit, worthless and totally crap? Yup. Today I do.
Maybe it's me, maybe it is all my fault.. I don't expect grand gestures, just a "thanks" would be nice or a "wow you've done loads today"... but no, I get nothing.. Now he's not even talking to me... bloody marvellous.
I'm fed up.
He has promised to work on something for me, again I'm still waiting. I spend my life waiting for him, and then generally end up doing it myself. But this time I'm pissed off about it. Really pissed off about it. I have put other people off helping because he "wants to be involved in the design process"... That's all very well and good, but if you aren't going to do it then what's the fing point?
Im pissed off about being spoken to like crap by certain people. I don't know how much more I can take. Have I wasted the last 11 years? Where are things going? I don't like where they are now, but I don't know if he is wanting to fight for things as much as I have done in the past... now I don't know how much more fight I have left...
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1 comments:
I know you well enough that I know you won't give up.
What you will do however I'm not sure about, but it sounds to me like big changes are afoot. I'll be there to support you as much as I can. We both will.
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